From a Jan. 26 New York Sun editorial:
Following are the procedures for deprogramming The New York Sun. We offer them in light of
swipe at Trump supporters. “The question,” she told
“is how are we going to really almost deprogram these people who have signed up for the cult of Trump.” The Washington Post columnist
reckons the number of Americans who need to be deprogrammed is in the “millions.” . . .
Step 1. Disconnecting the Republican solenoid. This device was installed after the Civil War by the Sun’s new proprietor,
Before the war, Dana had been fired from the Tribune by that jackanapes
who’d endorsed Southern secession, to which Dana’d objected. Whereupon Dana got hired by
to cover the war for one reader — the president. . . .
Step 2. Lifting out the gold core. This system of measuring value was installed in the 19th century, when
William Jennings Bryan
ran for president on a platform of inflation. . . . The Sun sided with gold.
Step 3. Extracting the Supply Side mechanism. This contraption was copied from the Wall Street Journal by the current editor of the Sun, back when he was pulling an oar in the Journal’s editorial galley. It works like a ratchet to prevent the Sun from criticizing most tax cuts at the top margin and enables it to perceive that lowered taxes can result in higher revenues. . . .
Step 4. Removing the Brexit bar-coding. This was installed at the Sun early in this century. It enabled the paper to cite liberty principles in support of British independence from the European Union’s dirigistes. Brexit bar-coding is not universally available in the American press, so the Times and other papers missed this scoop. . . .
Step 5. Disabling the connection to the Constitution. This is one of the most important steps in deprogramming the Sun. Its system of checks and balances allows editorials of the Sun to be self-adjusting. . . .
Step 6. Unhooking the unalienable rights. Extreme care is required in performing this step. Make sure not to attempt it before Step 5. . . . This is the programming that enables editors of the Sun to see the difference between America, which protects rights by forbidding the government from abridging them, and others, which see rights as granted by the government itself.
Step 7. Extinguishing the light of Sinai. This biblical bulb has been used by editors of the Sun for nearly two centuries to avoid, among other things, the error that has tempted so many journalistic types—idolatry. One has to be careful in dealing with this illuminator, which lit the way for the pilgrims who came to America. Best do this step last, as it’s hard to work in the dark.
Copyright ©2020 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 87990cbe856818d5eddac44c7b1cdeb8
Appeared in the January 28, 2021, print edition as ‘Notable & Quotable: Program.’